I feel I have to be honest with you. I am one of… those people. One of those people hopelessly obsessed — consumed with burning passion, you might say — for that condiment they call Sriracha. I put it on sandwiches, veggies, mac and cheese — in dips and salsas — on eggs, pasta, burritos, pierogis. Squeeze a little dab on every cracker, to go along with a slice of cheese or some hummus. Mix it with ketchup to create the Greatest Condiment Known to Man. Test out a new recipe that turns out terrible? Nice long squirt of Rooster Sauce’ll fix that up in a jiffy.
I really like crackers, you guys. I have to get that out there, because I think I might have a problem. I like crackers a lot. An intervention might be called for.
I’m a cracker connoisseur from way back, you see. It all started when I was a youngin. Since my first experience with them, I have tirelessly researched the subject, experimenting with my taste buds’ reaction to dozens of varieties. This research has been ongoing for over twenty years, so I feel the title of connoisseur is quite appropriate at this stage.
As a connoisseur, I believe it is my duty to report a disturbing trend in the cracker world as of late: namely, the application of flavor primarily in powdered form. It is my assertion that if more than 30% of the cracker’s flavor is left clinging to my fingers rather than deposited in my mouth, the cracker has failed on a fundamental level.
And that makes me sad.
So let me cast out a ray of hope which you, humble reader, may use in finding your way out of this cracker dark age. There is at least one new breed of cracker worth taking note of, and that new breed is Town House’s very own Flatbread Crisp.
They’re delicious, for real. You know that scene in Star Trek Generations when Guinan is describing the Nexus? “I was like being inside joy.”
Yeah, they’re sort of like that.
It’s Christmas! So, Merry Christmas or Happy Whatever Else You Celebrate.
How are you spending today? I’m probably going to be spending the day pigging out. Aside from family gatherings (which are lovely) and gift-giving (which is fun, if stressful), the best part of Christmas is undoubtedly the food. In my family, Christmas probably beats out Thanksgiving, even, and for basically only one reason: the cheese ball. You’ve got all the tasty staples of Thanksgiving, plus that glorious, spherical wonder that only shows its face at Christmas time.
I honestly don’t know the recipe. My entering the kitchen is generally frowned upon — something about a complete ineptitude around food, probably. All I do know is that it’s mostly cream cheese, green pepper, and onion, coated in… I’m going to say walnuts? There are a couple of secret ingredients that I’m not privy to. Maybe that’s a blessing in disguise; otherwise I’d be making (or attempting to make) myself a cheese ball every weekend.
You can hardly get further from the topic of technology than talking about sandwiches, but hey — even technophiles have to eat. And we tend to like it as simple as we can get it.
What is it about sandwiches, anyway? Is it that they’re so easy to make, that even the most inept preparer-of-food can cobble a passable one together? Or the comfort food angle, that a sandwich is the ultimate lounge-around-and-watch-TV food, or something nostalgic from childhood? Is it that you’re in total control, that you choose what goes in there and what doesn’t, and that there’s no work of art quite like yours?
Everything is more satisfying when you do it yourself, after all. “Look at what I have created! Look at the craftsmanship! Look at all the delightful ingredients I have included: everything I love and nothing I don’t!” You are the master of your domain… and it’s not often that your domain is also delicious.
To answer my own, silly questions, it’s all of the above. Probably. I don’t know. Who cares? Sandwiches are a sandwiches, and they’re great. Why put the time into wondering why they’re great when you could be spending that time making yourself one?
So what’s your sandwich of choice? That one up there is mine. (If you were wondering: yes, it was amazing.)